sethgray

I'm not naive. Most of the people on my flist are there because they stumbled across a fanfic of mine, probably a Supernatural one. So, I expect to have suddenly a lot less friends when I say this:

I stopped watching season five, and did a long time ago.

The Paris Hilton might have been the last one I watched. They were just loosing me. So much focus on all this "Angels suck!" and "Find God!" stuff, and it just lost me. Not to mention that I heard Jo and Ellen bite it, and I wasn't interested in watching that. Why is it so hard for shows to support their freaking supporting characters these days? Especially in a show where the main relationship has been severely undercut.

*sigh*

Whatever. I keep thinking I'm going to look the episodes up online and see, but I just never do. Oh well, there's always season one. And fanfic. Actually, I like most fanfic depictions of the brother's relationship better anyway.

Now I have some original stuff to be writing about. Dead Boyfriend here I come.

I finally have internet working again. Hooray. After over a week with no connectivity, it feels good. also kind of daunting because I have loads to catch up on. Oh well.

(Skip this post to avoid gross details of my personal life)


My mom told me the beans and ham on the stove were okay. Turns out they weren't. I have been shitting non-stop since last night. It looks like it might have settled down for now, and not a moment too soon. My ass is killing me, and not even in a fun way. *sigh*

So, as I mentioned, I finished my first book yesterday. Unfortunately I cannot tell anyone in my family about it. Why's that do you ask? Simply because it has gay content in it and I'm not out to most of them. Ah, I can hear you say, but isn't the solution to that problem easy?

No. No it is not. I know the closet is self-defeating, I know that it's hurting more than just me, that there's this huge chunk of my life that I can't ever share with them. I know that, really. But the thing is? I'm not all that upset about it. Oh sure, I'm frustrated and mad at myself, but not enough to rock the boat. The status quo may be flawed, but it's working for me right now.

But of my problem is, I'm not a big risk taker. I'm not coming out to my parents until I'm absolutely sure I have a place to say if things go south, just in case. Not that I expect them to take it badly, but it's just too much of a biggie to worry about. Can't be homeless, after all. The closet is a lot more complicated than the gay party line says it is. It's not about shame, it's not about self-flagellation, and while there is some fear involved, it's not really about that, either. For me, it's about caution, and having all my ducks in a row.

Maybe they'd be cool with it, maybe they wouldn't care...but what if they did care? It's just too much to think about, to process. My fragile human mind can only handle so many what-ifs at a time. Better to let this one happen as it happens, I think. At least for now.

My Facebook account and PayPal account just got hacked on the same day. I am like an inch from crying, seriously. Fuck my life. Though I don't know how it could be possible, I can't help thinking there's a connection somewhere.

If you are on Facebook and get a video link from me in the chat window DO NOT open it.

I have called PayPal and they've opened an investigation, should get back to me in a week. Only two false charges started, and one was stopped before it was completed. Thankfully, at the moment, I'm only out 9.99, and they're going to try and find who did it.

Say it with me folks: Fuck. My. Life.

Sometimes I just want to listen to my iPod, which makes it especially irksome that it has mysteriously gone missing. -_-

You'd think the Wonder Woman message board, of all places, would attract posters who weren't inclined toward rudeness and gender stereotyping. Apparently very much not. Holy. Shit.

EDIT: I was trying to post my reply when the site went down. If I wasn't an atheist I'd say there was something fishy going on here. Well, I post the reply in a private post so I don't loose it when the site comes back up.

Anyone who has ever read anything of mine, now you can vote for me on TepWebFiction.com. Sure, it's for my original fic and not for fanfic, but that's okay. Send a little goodwill my way, anyways, please.

Yeah, I'll be lucky to break 10,000 at this rate, forget about 50k.

8865 / 50000 words. 18% done!

Oh, well. I'll just keep on keeping on.

Well, I'm not sure what day it should be, since I didn't even write on Tuesday. But eh, here's yesterday's and today's word count combined, since it was a piddling anyway.

7304 / 50000 words. 15% done!

15 percent. Sigh.

Oh, well, think positive. I've still written over seven thousand words since the start of the month, which is better than what I do usually. Think positive, self, think positive.